mmm Lucky Charms

So this pregnancy I actually have cravings. It's weird. Last time I would just think of something then have to have it. This time I actually have cravings. The other night I sent Jeff out to get me Lucky Charms at 830 pm. I REALLY wanted them. I've been eating them non-stop ever since. Seriously, I had about 6 bowls yesterday. Healthy I know...

At my most recent midwives appointment they informed me that so far I have gained .4lbs. WOOT WOOT! I'm super happy about that. Staying on track or under is great. I would love it if I didn't gain more than 25lbs this time. So far so good... though I should probably lay of the Charms a bit.

In other news, my toddler is making me crazy. I love him to pieces but MAN has he got an attitude these days. He's climbing the furniture, dumping water all over the house and telling me no more often than not. He's great if we get out and about but if we happen to be at home all day he goes nuts. I'm looking into new parenting strategies. I've only ever really worked with easy babies so this is all new to me. I never really got the "terrible 2's" with my nanny kids. The ones that did I only saw for an hour or two at a time so it didn't matter much. I picked up Love and Logic from the library and I will start reading it soon. I've heard great things about it so I'm hoping for the best.

I tell you, I thought having a BABY was hard. Toddlers are way worse...

And so much better at the same time :-)

Random cute things my kid has done:
1.) Spilled beans on the floor then took the mini broom and dust pan to clean then up while telling me "help you!"
2.) Ate the marshmallows out of a tiny bowl of Lucky Charms leaving only the cereal
3.) Exclaims, "Airplane! Way up there!"
4.) Tells me, "Bear, love it!" about his new favorite stuffed animal
5.) Calls me and Jeff by our first names, it's hilarious
6.) Sings "Push it" by SaltnPepper the "ooo baby baby, ba-baby baybee" part
7.) Gives me kisses and bear hugs
8.) "Hi!!" To everyone he sees these days He's pretty much the best kid in my universe :-)

Embracing my pregnant body

I did something very nice for myself today. I unpacked my fat clothes/ maternity clothes and put away things that are tight or will be in the very near future.

I recently lost a good deal of weight and I am proud of that. I've struggled with knowing that my new body is going to change yet again. I've been trying to prove to no one in particular that just because it's my second pregnancy doesn't mean I'm going to look pregnant soon.

Well you know what? I've sick of that.

I have a very short torso and there is simply no where for my growing uterus to push my organs except up and out. Yes I'm 12 weeks pregnant and showing, but who cares? I've gain .5lbs according to my midwives, the changes are not my "gaining weight," they are all baby. I'm not going to force myelf to wear clothes that make me uncomfortable to prove some ridiculous point.

I'm tired of feeling like a fat girl trying to fit into too small clothes. I am embracing my pregnant and changing body and I feel SOOO much happier about it already. Sure my clothes are a bit big now, but that's gotta be better than too small.

10 weeks, 30 to go

Well I am 10 weeks pregnant now. I cannot wait for the second trimester to being. I'm feeling like crap most days of the week now. I'm so tired since I can't sleep well (thanks to a fast filling bladder, nausea and insomnia).

I have been trying to keep up my running as well. So far I"m successful about every-other-day with getting 4 miles down. I would love to do better but running while you feel like you may vomit or with heartburn is no treat.

I have another appointment a week from tomorrow. I think I'm going to end up taking Judah again. I'm not thrilled about it but I think we can make it work. We downloaded an app on the i-pod called "panda." It's simple a panda that changes colors when you hit the screen and says "I'm a red panda." Judah loves it!

I'm still feeling very overwhelmed with the idea of two little people in my life. I saw a mom at the park yesterday with a 3 year old and a maybe 11 month old. She was so stressed out and snappy. I so don't want to be like that :-(

I've been thinking about things that I'm going to have to do with two but I have no idea how. Like grocery shopping, gardening, going to the bathroom, etc. I am in need of some serious mentoring.

Not a whole lot going on otherwise. Just trying to keep swimming while pregnancy takes over my body.

I'm praying for strength and grace for myself. I know that Jesus loves me no matter what and that I can rest in Him. I so need Him everyday.

First ultrasound

Today I had my first ultrasound for this pregnancy. I was surprised that they were able to do it abdominally but also pretty happy about it. Looks like Beanie is measuring right on time (8 weeks, 3 days) and has a strong heartbeat of 176 bpm.

Ovulated with the left ovary which confirms to my that the right is truly shot. Oh well. Good old lefty seems to be working out just fine.

I had to bring Judah with me and he did pretty well overall. The appointment was about an hour and for the most part he played with an i-pod app and ate snacks. About half way through he looked at the screen and said "Kitty" and right before we left he pointed at it and said "dolphin, eee-eee)." This first impression of his new sibling. He did give me a lot of "all done"'s during the exam but he stuck it out like the champ he is.

Strangely this appointment didn't make it all that much more real to me this time. With Judah I remember crying and being overwhelmed that there was a tiny little person growing in me. This time the emotions just were not that strong. It was more of a confirmation that everything is going find and (thank GOD!) it's not twins.

I have a feeling I'm not going to fee bonded to this one as soon as I did with Judah. I'm sure once the kicks start that will help things. I'm just so busy with my baby that's already here that I'd hard to take time to imagine life with the new one. Plus I'm scared as hell about what "life with the new one" is going to be like. . .

So we have little Beanie's picture on the refrigerator just like we did with J. I'm hoping it will remind me of the life inside and help me to make better eating choices. It's so easy to pick crap when your stomach feels like junk. Comfort foods. But comfort foods have little nutrition and usually make you fat.

So far weight gain is going ok. I was hoping to make it through the first trimester without putting any on but alas... 3 lbs to date. I think it's the comfort food and I need to knock it off. Thankfully the second trimester is not that far away and usually morning sickness stops early in the 2nd.

I have kept up with running pretty well so far. this week has been much better. I plan to keep going throughout pregnancy so I need to stay on top of it. I also need to continue with my strength training. I need these muscles ripped to help with birth!

I'm very fortunate to have several "belly buddies" this go around too. A couple moms due a month ahead of me, one within a week of me and a couple about a month after me. Thank God for online mom communities! I have honestly made some wonderful friendships through them. I just wish I could meet these incredible ladies in person; some I have :-)

And now to spend sometime reading about this little Bean and what (s)he is doing this week. I'm one blessed mama.